source: editor:Zhang Wenni
Ou Yang, a 33-year-old engineer based in Beijing, grapples with a profound sense of unease every holiday season due to the influx of wedding invitations, which inevitably translates into a financial burden for him.
During the National Day holiday last month, he attended two weddings and gave a 1,000-yuan ($141) red envelope at each.
There's another upcoming wedding awaiting this year.
He's meticulously recorded these expenses in his phone, with the total adding up to nearly 20,000 yuan so far. And that already excludes the money given by his parents on his behalf and the costs of attending banquets in various locations.
"I'm conflicted, but I still choose to attend because I don't want to be criticized by others for breaking this societal tradition," he said. With no plans for marriage himself, Ou is uncertain if he will ever recoup the money he has spent, jokingly suggesting, "Maybe I should throw myself a big 40th birthday party."
In stark contrast, Li Wenjing, a 26-year-old overseas study consultant in Qingdao, Shandong province, takes a bold and carefree stance when invited to weddings by friends, firmly replying, "I'm not going, and I'm not giving the fenziqian."
Literally meaning "one's portion of money", fenziqian is often wrapped in red envelopes and is given to newlyweds as a form of a congratulatory gift.
Li has grown weary of receiving wedding invitations from individuals she has lost touch with over the years. In one extreme instance, an old colleague of her father, who had been out of contact for more than two decades, somehow acquired her father's WeChat and invited Li's family to his son's wedding.
As a result, she made a daring decision to abstain from attending weddings and refraining from giving congratulatory money. Whenever a friend embarks on a romantic relationship, she preemptively informs them of her decision, sparing them the need to give her money too. Over time, this stance has become well-known among her circle.
Li said that giving money in this context makes her feel like she is funding other people's lives, when she has just started her career and doesn't have enough in her budget for herself.
She ranks among the growing number of young people in China who are becoming increasingly vocal against the long-standing tradition of handing over fenziqian.